


The Talent Show

by BroadwayItBitch



Series: Exchanges [2]
Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Acting, Aged-Up Character(s), Dialogue Heavy, F/F, F/M, La Vie Boheme, M/M, Multi, Rent References, Talent Shows, i'm sorry about that, like a lot, they're about 16 in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-02 11:03:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19197484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BroadwayItBitch/pseuds/BroadwayItBitch
Summary: Here it is. The night of their talent show. Their night to finally promote that they had something to present. The whole thing was TJ’s idea, wanting to show what he had for the drama department.And their act? Singing La Vie Boheme from RENT.





	The Talent Show

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy i guess

Here it is. The night of their talent show. Their night to finally promote that they had something to present. The whole thing was TJ’s idea, wanting to show what he had for the drama department.

 

And their act? Singing _La Vie Boheme_ from _RENT_.

 

Alongside TJ was Cyrus, Buffy, Andi, Jonah, Marty, Walker, Iris, and Amber. It was all part of Metcalf’s new tradition that on the first day of June, kids would be allowed to do talent shows with no restrictions, minus anything sexual, which meant that some of the lyrics of _La Vie Boheme_ had to be censored.

 

They were the grand finale. Metcalf said their act was perfect for the finale.

 

The GHC and Co. were backstage, running the number last-minute in case they forgot their choreography,

 

“Ready?” Cyrus asked TJ. He and Cyrus were Angel Dumott Schunard and Tom Collins, respectively.

 

“I’m nervous,” He replied, adjusting his mic a bit.

 

“We’ve been working on this for months, Teej. We’ve got this.”

 

TJ nodded.

 

“Lastly on the stage, we have the GHC and Co. performing _La Vie Boheme_ from Jonathan Larson’s _RENT_ ,” Metcalf said into the microphone, gaining a huge round of applause.

 

The stage hands brought the tables out from backstage, along with the chairs the GHC and Co. had asked for the week beforehand. Once the props were set, the GHC and Co. walked on stage, taking their places (minus Andi, who stayed backstage until her cue).

 

Everyone started reciting their lines.

 

“Hey, hey, no,” Iris said her line. “You can’t be here, we have an important customer,” She pointed to Marty, playing Benny Coffin. “And besides, you never buy.”

 

Walker, who’s playing Mark Cohen, scoffed. “Liar, I had a tea on Wednesday.”

 

“You couldn’t pay,” She countered.

 

“Oh, yeah…”

 

On cue, the others and him sit at the table, some of them crossing their legs.

 

“Benjamin Coffin the third. What brings you to the Life Cafe?” Cyrus asked in a teasing manner.

 

“I’d like to propose a toast to Maureen’s protest. It went well, but how many tickets did you sell?” Amber stuck her middle finger up at Marty in response.

 

Jonah stood up from his chair. He was playing Roger Davis. “Why did Muffy-”

 

“Allison,” Marty corrected.

 

“Miss the show?”

 

Marty straightened the lapels on his jacket. “If you must know, there was a death in the family.”

 

TJ gasped. “Who died?”

 

Marty cleared his throat. “Our akita.”

 

Walker and Jonah looked at each other with wide eyes. “Evita,” They said at the same time.

 

The music started with a piano riff.

 

“ _You make fun, yet I’m the one attempting to do some good. Or do you really want a neighborhood where people piss on your stoop every night?_ ” Marty sang. “ _Bohemia, bohemia is a fallacy in your head. This is Calcutta, bohemia is… dead._ ”

 

Walker stood up from his seat, slamming his hands on the table. “ _Dearly beloved, we gather here to say our goodbyes,_ ” All of the girls cried dramatically. “ _Here she lies, no one knew her worth. The late great daughter of Mother Earth, on this night where we celebrate the birth._ ” Buffy, who was playing Mimi Marquez, imitated a baby cry. “ _In that little town of Bethlehem, we raise our glass. You bet your ass too… La vie boheme!_ ”

 

Walker jumped off the table, and the ensemble began to sing.

 

“ _La vie boheme… La vie boheme… La vie boheme… La vie boheme!_ ”

 

“ _To days of inspiration, playing hooky, making something outta nothing, the need to express- to communicate!_ ” Walker sang out. “ _To going against the grain, going insane, going mad. To loving tension, no pension, to more than one dimension, to starving for attention, hating convention, hating pretension. Not to mention of course, hating dear old mom and dad!_ ”

 

The ensemble began hitting their hands on the table to the beat of the music.

 

“ _To riding your bike midday past the three piece suits, to fruits, to no absolutes! To choice, to the village voice, to any passing fad. To being an us for once instead of a them!_ ”

 

“ _La vie boheme!_ ”

 

Andi walked onstage, going to Amber, who stood from her seat.

 

“ _Is the equipment in a pyramid?_ ” Amber asked.

 

“ _It is, Maureen,_ ” Andi replied with a sigh.

 

“ _The mixer doesn’t have a case. Don’t give me that face!_ ” Amber said, kissing Andi’s cheek. Marty cleared his throat in protest. “ _Hey, mister, she’s my sister._ ” She said as Andi walked off stage.

 

Iris walked to stage left, a notepad in her hand. “ _So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad, three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter, and one pasta with meatless balls._ ”

 

Jonah cringed. “Ew.”

 

“It tastes the same,” Cyrus argued.

 

“If you close your eyes!” Buffy added, gaining laughs from the audience.

 

“ _And thirteen orders of fries, is that it here?_ ” Iris asked.

 

“ _Wine and beer!_ ” Everyone yelled.

 

Buffy and TJ got up on the table, starting to dance.

 

“ _To hand-crafted beers in local breweries, to yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese! To leather, to latex to curry vindaloo!_ ” They sang together. TJ thought that Buffy was the perfect choice for Mimi, she had the best voice out of all of the GHC and Co. “ _To Huevos Rancheros and Maya Angelou._ ”

 

Buffy and TJ got back in their seats as Amber and Cyrus get on the table.

 

“ _Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion. Creation vacation-_ ”

 

“ _Mucho masturbation,_ ” Walker interrupted, gaining even more laughs.

 

Everyone in the audience seemed to be having fun, including the GHC and Co.

 

“ _Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new,_ ” Cyrus and Amber continued their portion of the song. “ _To Sontag, to Sondheim, to anything taboo._ ”

 

“ _Ginsburg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage,_ ” Jonah and Cyrus sang together as well. “ _Lenny Bruce, Langston Hughes!_ ”

 

“ _To the stage!_ ” Amber yelled.

 

“ _To Uta, to Buddha, Pablo Neruda, too!_ ” Everyone sang out.

 

Buffy got back on the table and Walker got on all fours on the stage floor. “ _Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow? To blow off Auntie Em!_ ” They high-five, and Buffy laughed.

 

“ _La vie boheme!_ ” They all sang again.

 

Andi walked back on stage to Amber. Amber wrapped her arms around Andi’s neck with a sultry smile.

 

“ _And wipe the speakers off before you pack,_ ” Amber instructed.

 

“ _Yes, Maureen,_ ” Andi relented, about to walk away.

 

“ _Well, hurry back!_ ” Amber called, and she began to kiss Andi passionately.

 

“ _Sisters?_ ” Marty questioned.

 

“ _We’re close,_ ” Andi and Amber said in unison.

 

Andi walked off stage once again. The entire ensemble began breaking out into their own dance.

 

“ _Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens, carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee-Wee Herman!_ ” They sang out. “ _German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein, Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa, Carmina Burana! To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy! Vaclav Havel, the Sex Pistols, 8BC! To no shame never playing the Fame Game!_ ”

 

Cyrus pretended to smoke a joint. “ _To marijuana!_ ”

 

“ _To sodomy, it’s between God and me! To S & M! _”

 

Marty stood up from his table, angrily walking off stage.

 

“In honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner,” Cyrus spoke to the beat of the music. “Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap will perform her famous lawn chair handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred!”

 

Jonah stood next, pointing to Walker. “And Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on the high holy days.”

 

More laughing from the audience.

 

“And Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot, will sing Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello, which she has never studied,” Walker pointed out.

 

Marty appearing stage right with Buffy with him, and he put his hand on her shoulder. “ _Your new boyfriend doesn’t know about us._ ”

 

Buffy repulsed, smacking his hand away. “ _There’s nothing to know._ ”

 

“ _Don’t you think that we should discuss?_ ” He asked.

 

“ _It was three months ago,_ ” She countered.

 

“ _He doesn’t act like he’s with you,_ ” Marty began to argue.

 

“ _We’re taking it slow._ ”

 

Marty huffed, not believing her. “ _Where is he now?_ ”

 

She turned around, trying to find Jonah. “ _He’s right… where’d he go?_ ”

 

Focusing back on the rest of the ensemble, Jonah had an electric guitar in his hands.

 

“ And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet evocative song, ” Walker sang. Jonah began playing a tune, for about two measures before Walker stopped him. “ That… doesn’t remind us of Musetta’s Waltz. ” Jonah flips Walker off as a joke, setting his guitar down.

 

“ Angel Dumott Schunard will model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub. ”

 

TJ strutted on the table, acting like a model. “ And Collins will recount his exploits as anarchist, including the tale of the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. virtual reality equipment to self-destruct, as it broadcasts the words- ”

 

“ Actual reality, ACT UP, fight AIDS! ” Everyone finished TJ’s lyric.

 

Marty ran off stage, yelling “Check!”

 

Focusing on Buffy and Jonah, they’re alone on stage as the rest of the ensemble is on the other side of the stage.

 

“ _Excuse me, did I do something wrong?_ ” Buffy angrily sang to Jonah. “ _I get invited, then ignored all night long!_ ”

 

Jonah, with a sad face, looks to Buffy. “ _I’ve been trying, I’m not lying. No one’s perfect. I got baggage-_ ”

 

“ _Life’s too short, babe, time is flying. I’m looking for baggage that goes with mine,_ ” Buffy sang with confidence.

 

“ _I should tell you…_ ” Jonah sang sweetly.

 

“ _I got baggage, too-_ ” She interrupted his verse.

 

“ _Wine and beer!_ ” The ensemble said before the music slowed. Then a light beeping sound began to ring.

 

“AZT break…” Buffy said, taking out a pill bottle.

 

“You?” Jonah asked.

 

“Me,” She nodded. “You?”

 

Jonah’s lip trembled. “Mimi…”

 

While this was acting, Jonah always said that he would act the same way Roger did; astonished. Astonished that a friend would keep this sort of thing a secret from him. But remember, this is all acting.

 

“Are we packed?” Amber asked Andi, who looked to have an exhausted look on her face.

 

“Yes,” She replied. “And by next week, I want you to be.”

 

Amber gasped. “Pookie!”

 

Andi ignored her, going to her own line. “ _And you should see, they’ve padlocked your building and they’re rioting on Avenue B!_ ” She exclaimed. “ _Benny called the cops!_ ”

 

“That jerk!” Someone in the ensemble yelled.

 

“ _They don’t know what they’re doing. The cops are sweeping the lots,_ ” Andi’s solemn face turns into an amused one. “ _But no one’s leaving, they’re just sitting there mooing!_ ”

 

The ensemble cheered. “To dance!”

 

“ _No way to make a living, masochism, pain, perfection, muscle spasms, chiropractors, short careers, eating disorders!_ ” Andi sang, beginning to dance on the table herself.

 

“Film!”

 

Walker stepped up to the table as well. “ _Adventure, tedium, no family, boring locations, dark rooms, perfect faces, egos, money, Hollywood and sleaze!_ ”

 

“Music!”

 

TJ, along with Cyrus and Amber, get up on the table. “ _Food of love, emotion, mathematics, isolation, rhythm, feeling, power, harmony, and heavy competition!_ ” TJ’s dress gets snagged, but he keeps dancing.

 

“Anarchy!”

 

Cyrus and Amber start pumping their fists up in the air. “ _Revolution, justice, screaming for solutions, forcing changes, risk, and danger, making noise and making pleas!_ ”

 

They jump off of the table, landing on their feet.

 

“ _To homos, lesbians, cross-dressers, too!_ ” They sang out. “ _To people living with, living with, living with, not dying from disease! Let he among us without sin, be the first to condemn!_ ” They all took a breath, preparing for the next verse. “ _La vie boheme! La vie boheme! La vie boheme!_ ”

 

Walker ran to center stage. “ _Anyone out of the mainstream? Is anyone in the mainstream? Anyone alive with a sex drive? Tear down the wall! Aren’t we all? The opposite of war isn’t peace! It’s creation!_ ” He exclaimed, spit flying out of his mouth.

 

“ _La vie boheme!_ ”

 

The music stopped, and the spotlight was on Walker.

 

“The riot continues. The Christmas tree goes up in flames. The snow dances,” He recited. “Oblivious, Mimi and Roger share a small, lovely kiss.”

 

Buffy and Jonah, who are still on the other side of the stage, kiss gently. Buffy looked like she was disgusted, but she continued.

 

The music started once more for the last time.

 

“Viva la vie boheme!”

 

The audience applauded loudly, some standing up (which were their parents).

 

And the GHC and Co. did what they do best.

 

They took a bow.

**Author's Note:**

> this is dedicated to @andi-simstoons on Tumblr! Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Love, Abbey Elizabeth.


End file.
